Ode To Kevin
Once, a long time ago, in a psych hospital not far away, our little Kevin began working as a patient care provider, and thus began our little friendship. Nathan Eshelpants and I immediately loved Kevin, and took him under our collective wing and watched him blossom as an excellent employee. Soon after, our little friend Tito (Tanya) began working as well, and we sealed our friendship. Sadly, Kevin had to cut off the relationship and move out east to pursue his relationship with Natalie Portman, leaving the rest of us feeling forlorn and depressed. But rather than dwell in the ruins of that brokenness, I would like to reflect on some happier times.Nathan and I used to watch Kevin talk to people and count how long he could hold eye contact. I think the longest was 3 seconds (and we counted fast).
Kevin and I would bike together, but he always ended up with a flat tire. I think he just couldn't keep up and would stick a knife in it so he wouldn't look bad.
Nate, Kevin, and I once got the nurse to call Tanya into work a few minutes before she was done being on call just because we missed her and wanted to spend time with her.
Kevin and I once fell off of the side of a cliff and Nate had to choose which one of us to save. Luckily for Kevin, Nate had really strong legs.
If you have more funny Kevin stories, please contribute.
posted by gretchenjohnson @ 10:31 PM
12 Comments:
Remember when he met us in New Jersey.
Remember when we tried to have movie night with the melting pot of co-workers. Let's recap:
Kevin was offended
Tracy squalled
Nate was appalled
Then another night Kevin decided to show us the movie "dish".
Hansel....he's hot right now...Hansel!
K.V. watch out for snipers!
Yes...I forgot...kevin is HORRIBLE at picking out movies. I forgot about Dish. Corey and I watched BottleRocket with him and the only redeeming thing about it was that Kevin had quoted it to me so many times that I found those parts funny. But he does do the best impressions.
i miss kevin a lot, what is he doing these days?
Member how we hate vomit? And everytime we worked a kid would blow chunks:(
Kevin, last night Nate and I thought of you when we were cleaning up a nasty nasty mess. It was stinky
Kevin would have puked!!!!
It would be great.
I stared at him for two hours and he made eye contact the whole time
I love Kevin, but he will never look lovingly into my eyes
Grett Farve,
You are hilarious and the best RN I've ever seen in the entire world. You guys are all pretty clever. Thanks for your Ode.
Yeah, I guess I don't understand prolonged eye contact. Consequently, for the first few months of my relationship with Natalie Portman, I actually thought she was Keira Knightley.
And now I can't find her.
Or Marcia D.
I don't remember anything about the 'dish' incident. Probably it never happened. Bottle Rocket is an awesome movie.
I hate vomit more than ever.
Remember when we all used to sing showtunes to violent children?
Kevin saved my life.
Once when Kevin and I were selflessly helping refugee orphans in the Yukon, a lion tried to attack us and he defeated it with his own two hands. He was really strong before his haircut.
Kevin taught me what it means to love. But then he broke up with me. Now the V in Kevin V is for Vendetta.
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