Gretchen Records Her Life

Baby Names

Thankfully, everyone has been giving us idea for baby names lately. If none of those names work out, we thought we could use this name. Karlie Gretchen for a girl and Karl Gretchen for a boy. Karl and Jenn will name their baby Gretchen Karlie for a girl and Gretchen Karl for a boy. So thanks everyone for all the great ideas, but I don't think anything will top those choices.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 4:20 AM 2 comments

Fancy Feast and Death Threats

If you have ever fed my cats for me (and there are only a few of you out there), you know that it is quite a process. First you boil the water, then you let the can of food sit in the water to warm up, then you feed them 1/4 of a can of grilled Fancy Feast. It's so embarrassing, and I'm not sure how it got to be that complicated. Part of it started because Mia only weighs 6 pounds and doesn't eat much. So we spoiled her. Then came Maggie a few years later, and what can I say? Maggie had a really rough life before us and needed a little spoiling. All was going well. Until....

The dreaded vet visit. They are not eating enough dry food. It will eventually rot their teeth. Now that's really fancy. So I'm weaning them off of Fancy Feast. They are only getting 1/4 of a can once a day now and they are getting grouchy. Last night I woke up with a bloody horses head in the sheets.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 10:50 AM 3 comments

Once upon a time....

there were these 2 girls (who happened to be cousins) and one random Japanese boy. They went for a very long walk and became very tired. So they hitchhiked back to their grandmother's house. The man who picked them up looked strangely like Sean Connery, and warned the teens that they should never hitchhike again. The sassier of the two cousins told Sean that he should never pick up hitchhikers again. If only that were the end of the story. The random Japanese boy went back to Japan, bought a huge ugly station wagon to drive, and made a rock album entitled "Asa's Thug Life". The hit song was called "where is love, where is heart".
The 2 cousins lived happily ever after, and always listened to Asa's Thug Life with their Grandmother.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 4:10 PM 2 comments

Fathers and Daughters

My dad and I were talking on the phone late the other night, and he started telling me a story about when I was younger. My mom was in the hospital having surgery, and he was taking care of me (18 months old) and my two brothers. Apparently, I was fussing, so he brought me into bed with him. This was great fun for 18 month old Gretchen, so instead of sleeping, I started playing and kicking. He said I kept kicking him in the head, so he moved me to the bottom of the bed. I then kept kicking his legs. Playing was so much more fun than sleep at 3 AM. Anyway, I just thought it was a cute story.
The rest of the story is rather boring. It turns out that my mom had run off to a convent, and dad had to go get her there. The nuns were walking around singing "how do you solve a problem like Donnamaria?" On the way home from the convent, my dad and mom found us along side the road hanging from trees wearing clothes we had made from draperies. Karl was playing the guitar and we were all singing and trying to hide from the Nazis. Dad blew his whistle and we all lined up and said our names. BORING.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 9:22 AM 9 comments

What do cats dream about?

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 7:20 PM 4 comments

Me

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 11:36 AM 3 comments

Karl's Famous Super-Dog. Sadie.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 7:50 AM 11 comments

Tips for Emergent Situations

In case you didn't know, Corey and I live in a retirement community. It's a boring story how we ended up here, but we generally like it. With the exception of my car getting broken into and an uprising over painful potholders, we thought it was generally peaceful. However, this month's Leisure South Newsletter gave us a friendly reminder that we are not always safe and published 9 tips for emergency situations. The editor apologized in advance for the graphic scenarios, so I also extend my apologies. I will not publish all 9 tips, but only a few of our favorites.

1.If a robber asks for your purse or wallet, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you. RUN LIKE MAD in the opposite direction!

2. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail light and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.

4. If someone is in your car with a gun or knife, DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead, gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking your car. Your airbag will save you. If the person is in the back seat, he will get the worst of the crash. As soon as the car crashes, bail out and run.
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his physical control, ALWAYS RUN! Run in a zig-zag pattern. It has been shown that the predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times.

From all of us here at Leisure South, we hope you heed the warnings and use these tips if ever in such a situation.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 10:13 AM 9 comments

Beautiful Day

Today was so gorgeous outside! I pulled my bike out, aired up the tires, and decided to go for a ride. It was baby's first bike ride ever. The beginning of the ride was great: wind blowing in my face, sun shining down. Perfect. However, 6 miles into the ride, I was ready to go to sleep. 8 miles into the ride, I had to stop so I could daintily vomit on the side of the road. Needless to see, I had to cut the ride short, but it was great!

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 1:50 PM 10 comments

If a picture says a thousand words....

We're due October 24th!

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 3:21 PM 9 comments

Grandma's 80th Birthday

Today we had my grandma's 80th birthday party. We had all these great pictures of my grandma from when she was a child. There was this picture of her outside surrounded by HUGE rabbits. I wish I could load it. Apparently, growing up, her father raised rabbits to sell. During the depression, that is all her family had to eat. Her father would kill them, skin them, and dress them. But he would never eat them. Later in life, she had some friends over and served them rabbit without telling them so. Her friend commented that it was the funniest looking chicken leg she had ever eaten.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 5:26 PM 6 comments

I just got a call from my nephew

"Hi." pause "Hi." pause....I still can't tell who it is. "Hi." pause pause "This is Lukie"
Oooohh. "Hi Lukie"
"Hi." then a bunch of inaudible conversation. Then..."I got a balloon at a birthday party." So I asked whose party he went to. "I don't know. The boy with the red shirt. He tried to steal my ball, but I ran so so fast and he could not catch me."
I love it.

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 5:16 PM 3 comments

My, How Things Change

Last week, I saw some people that knew me as a child and had not seen me since I was 3 or 4 years old. We chatted for a bit, and they asked me what happened to my blonde curly hair. My coworkers and I were discussing how different we are as children, even physically. For example, Corey and I were both born blondes, and now both have brown "quaffs". Corey didn't speak until he was 3 years old, then he began speaking in complete sentences. I sang everything instead of speaking when I was little. When my parents were trying to potty train me, they said they would forget about me on the potty. Instead of telling them I was done, I would just sit and sing it. Years later, they finally noticed I wasn't coming to dinner, so they came and told me I could get off. I missed kindergarten through 8th grade because of it, but those grades don't really matter, right?

What are some funny things you did as a child? Or how are you different now?

posted by gretchenjohnson @ 11:05 AM 11 comments